know your child's problem

Being a psychologist, I often meet parents who are facing problems with their children's behaviour. I also hear the best of intentions in their explanations. So if you are a parent, this piece of information may be very useful for you. Here's what I tell them and what I want to remind you of now.

 

Emotions: It is so important to remember that as parents, you are your child’s first and most important teacher. It is especially true when it comes to learning the skill of managing emotions. While this ability is something parents often take for granted. Just like you help your children learn how to walk, read or ride a bike; handling emotions well is a skill that has to be taught. And a child can never learn to handle emotions without an adult by his/her side. Children use their behavior to show how they're feeling and what they're thinking.

 

Lying: When kids want attention, misbehavior is often a great means of getting it. Many parents complaint that their child is lying. If your child is lying means you overreacted to his/her mistakes in past. Ignoring negative behavior and praising positive behavior is one of the best ways to deal with the little lies of your child. 

 

Role Model: Kids learn to behave by watching others. Whether a child sees another child misbehaving at school or they're copying something they've seen on TV; Pay attention to what your children are exposed to. Role model healthy behavior to teach your child the right way to behave.

 

Anger: If your child gets angry quickly, the reason could be you have not praised them enough. My recommendation to a parent whose child has low self -esteem is to give less advice or instructions to the child. Rather encouragement will be a panacea for his / her low self-esteem. It will help your child gain healthy self-esteem quickly.

 

Weakness: Another common issue is, when your child behaves like a weakling. The possible reason could be you help too quickly. Don't remove every obstacle from their path. Let them learn to deal with some of their problems on their own.

 

Jealousy: Just like adults, children can experience jealousy. Often parents' first reaction is to scold or shame the child but this often makes the situation worse. Jealousy is a natural emotion that all of us experience. When parents compare their child consistently, children develop this tendency. My advice is to stop comparing and spend special time alone with the child while he is experiencing jealousy.

 

Disorders: Sometimes children have mental health issues like ADHD, communication disorder, learning disorder etc. As a result, they struggle to follow directions, feel depressed, aggressive and behave impulsively. If you suspect your child is having behavioral or mental issues then talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist for an evaluation. They are adept at understanding and finding creative solutions to your child's difficulties and can offer you ways of coping at home that can lessen or even end your child's bad behaviour.

 

Remember, as a parent you are your child’s most important teacher, make it worth the while, by holding your child in their highest. When you see children as they are, you see them with their flaws and this shows in your behavior and their reaction towards your behaviour.  When you see them as they can be, then your energy, your choice of words and your behavior will bring out the best in your child. It is up to you. This is simple to understand and yet difficult to execute. Keeping at it will help you develop this as a way of being and will help your child’s growth at multiple levels.

I truly believe,'' Children must be taught how to think, not what to think.''

Interpreting dreams

Man produces symbols unconsciously and spontaneously, in the form of dreams. The unconscious aspect of any event is revealed to us in dreams, where it appears not as a rational thought but as a symbolic image. As a matter of history, it was the study of dreams that first enabled psychologists to investigate the unconscious aspect of conscious psychic events.
Whoever denies the existence of the unconscious or say that there is no unconscious, merely express an age-old " Misoneism" - a fear of the new and the unknown. Freud was the first one to explore the unconscious background of consciousness. He came to a conclusion that neurotic symptoms like hysteria, certain types of pain and abnormal behavior are in fact symbolically meaningful. They are one way in which the unconscious mind expresses itself, just as it may in dreams; and they are equally symbolic. A patient, for example, who vomits when he eats, "cannot digest" some unpleasant facts. Another example of an asthmatic patient, he/she can't breathe in the atmosphere they live in. Many similar examples could be cited, but such physical reactions are only one form in which the problems that trouble us unconsciously may express themselves.  They more often find expression in our dreams.
The general function of dreams is to try to restore our psychological balance by producing dream material that re-establishes, in a subtle way, the total psychic equilibrium. This is called complementary role of dreams in our psychic. For example, people who have unrealistic ideas or too high on opinion of themselves or who make grandiose plans out of their real capacities, have dreams of flying or falling. The dream compensates for the deficiencies of their personalities and at the same time it warns them of the  dangers in their present life. If the warnings of the dream are disregarded, real accidents may take place.

For the sake of mental stability and even physiological health, the unconscious and the conscious must be integrally connected and thus move on parallel lines. If they are split apart or disassociated, psychological disturbance follows. 

Dream symbols are essential message carriers from the instinctive to the rational  parts of mind and their interpretation enriches the poverty of consciousness so that it learns to understand  again the forgotten language of the instincts.

Clear all your money related blocks and welcome it in your life

There are two parts of your mind. One is analytical or you can call it logical mind that is focused on implementing a step-by-step practical plan. The other part is imaginative and visionary part of your mind that draws on your unconscious creativity. When this part takes over, you can make quantum leaps. You just have to be open to the possibility of succeeding and  curiosity about how it can be achieved( without getting stuck on How's). This way you can open that creative part of your mind. That unlocks a treasure chest!
Set high goals and make sure you write them in your personal diary. Actually writing them down and reviewing them regularly - is one of the most universally accepted keys to success. Good things come when your beliefs,  your enthusiasm, your expectations and your level of deserving feelings are aligned  after cleared negative emotions attached to them. Write that number big and bold on a page. Focus on that number and notice how much resistance you feel while looking at that number. Notice your emotions and feelings in your body. Think about how it would feel to announce your new money goals to your friends and family. Any resistance you feel reflects your fears and limiting beliefs. It's your subconscious saying, "No, it is not possible! " Now, take a deep breath and write down any thoughts, feelings or memories came up. There may be physical sensations as well. Mentally tell yourself, " I think it might be hard to achieve my desired money goals*** I choose to have faith*** I let go of any beliefs or programming  that say I need to struggle ***I align with my passion***I choose to allow my subconscious mind to make connection between me and my money goal*** I am choosing to have faith."
Keep repeating it more times untill you feel more centered and have a sense of peace about your goal.
Always remember that mind only knows the past. If you keep doing or thinking the same thing you get the same thing.
•Make a commitment to regularly observe your money goals.
•Commit to enthusiasm, excitement and passion. It can take you far beyond someone who has none, even if they have brains, ideas and resources. You deserve to have more money-lots more! And the power to get there is all in your mind.

Types of money

Money money money

'''What's wrong with me? Why can't I make more money?'' 

Like most people, this question haunted me day and night. Despite my strong desire and best efforts to have a lot more money it led me nowhere. This frustration drove me to go deeper and figure out how to uncover and release negative blocks related to wealth. 

I believe in miracles and one day, miraculously a friend of mine referred a book on EFT (Emotional freedom technique). It says, to increase your wealth greatly, it's important to know that money has a mind and a body component. One should look within for answers, face old memories and painful limiting beliefs. Everyone has his or her own individual blocks. Each bad memory, everything that scares you, deceit, being let down by someone you trusted, all the doubts that became ingrained as you experienced disappointment, all the unworthiness you felt when someone criticized you, failing in something you believed in, not doing well in school, all the negative experiences, beliefs and observations - add up to resistance to having more money. For example, I may say, I would love to be rich, but if my subconscious absolutely refuses to be rich, it won't happen. 

What does that mean? Subconscious is an accumulation of all programmed beliefs and emotions related to money that have become your absolute truth. Most of the times you are not aware of these negative beliefs but they strongly influence your behavior. A study at Vanderbilt University found that pain has a stronger effect on you that pleasure does. Since most people have had negative experiences related to money whether as a child or in adulthood, money becomes the hardest thing to manifest. 

The more emotional baggage you have related to money, the more likely it is that you won't have it, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. So, to answer the question ''What's wrong with me? Why can't I make more money?" lies in your Subconscious. Neuroscience says that only 15% of your mind is conscious and your subconscious which is 85% holds the key to all your habits, beliefs and memories. 

In my next blog, I'll share important tips on how you can work on your subconscious.